英语话剧剧本《收服猪八戒》
An English play---- Pig Guy has been defeated by Monkey King
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悟空: Master,
are you tired? Let’s have a rest.
唐僧: I am
fine. Let’s have a rest later. Look! There is a house over
there.
悟空仔细地搀扶唐僧继续行走，同时另一边老头、小媳妇出场。
小媳妇（做哭状）：Daddy, I, I …
老头：Honey, hurry up. The spirit is
coming soon.
小媳妇走几步又回头跑回老头的怀里，抱头痛哭。老头叹息，擦泪。
唐僧、悟空走到他们面前。
悟空：Master, here we are.
唐僧 (悟空和唐僧看见了正在哭的父女俩，觉得奇怪，上下打量)
Excuse me, sir. I am the monk~~from the east.（3次，越来越粗鲁）（老头开门）（唐僧突然变很有礼貌）Excuse
me, sir. I am the monk~~from the
east. Can we stay over here tonight?
老头（做哽咽状）：Oh, you
are the monk~~ from the east. Sure. Sure, come in, please ……
唐僧正在奇怪，小媳妇闻声抬起头，仔细打量唐僧，突然扑到唐僧面前。
小媳妇：Help me please.
老头：Master, please save my daughter, save
my family…
唐僧：Don’t be sad, girl. Take
it easy. What happened?
老头：Master, there is a spirit here.
He wants to marry my daughter, tonight. We are afraid
of him.
唐僧：Calm down, sir. My apprentice
has great capability. Maybe, he can help you.
老头：Alas! , master, there have been
many people who boast to be very capable. But everytime, they were defeated by
the spirit. You’d better keep away tonight.
悟空：What? Is
the spirit really so strong? I’d like to see how great he is. All of you
just stay inside. Don’t come out no matter what happens.
这时八戒唱歌准备登场（life a river flows. Surely to
the sea. Darling so it goes. Some things are meant to be. Take my hand. Take my
whole life too. For I can‘t help falling in love with you. But I can’t help falling in love with you），老头一家吓得站起来混身发抖。小媳妇吓得躲进角落。悟空镇定地举手示意，让师傅及老头一家人躲到房间里面去。自己也手搭凉篷看了看，便不慌不忙地也躲
在了门后，露出一段红袖子。
猪八戒大笑着耀武扬威地走上场来，嘴里大喊：Darling,
here I am.
站在台上停一下，见没有动静，觉得奇怪，往房屋里看去，见露出一段红袖子，高兴地一拍手掌。
八戒：Darling, don’t be so shy! Please
come to me. Come on, we will be a couple.
猪八戒跑上去轻轻拉住红袖子，把小娘子拖了出来，小娘子作出害羞的样子，有时又做出猴子的模样。
八戒：Darling, don’t be afraid.
Although I am ugly, I am so powerful. I am sure that I
can make you happy.
小娘子笑着点头，抓耳挠腮。
八戒：Darling, why do you look like a
monkey ?
小娘子：When I am happy, I always
tickle.
八戒：Fine, let’s go to the bedroom.
八戒拉住小娘子就往房子里面钻。小娘子作出动脑筋的样子，又把八戒拉回来。
八戒：Darling. Why are you so
powerful?
小娘子：Honey, your appearance will frighten my parents. We’d better go to
your home.
八戒：Go to my house？OK. that’s a great idea. Let’s go.
两人走了几步，小女子做出腿疼摔了一下的样子，八戒忙扶起她，作出痛惜的样子。
老头：Hey!
Ugly take care of my daughter.
猪八戒：Oh, okay okay…..（突然间想起某件事的表情）hey who are you
小女子：I cannot walk any further. Can you carry me on your back?
八戒：Carry you on my back? All right.
You're my wife after all. Come on.（老头跑来吐舌头）
八戒把小女子背上：Darling,
Let's go.
小女子（在八戒头上一点）：Okay.
Let’s go.
八戒唱婚礼的dand dang
dang dang。八戒在台上走一圈，做出越走越慢，越走越累的样子。小女子在他背上抓耳挠腮，非常高兴。
八戒：Darling,
why are you so heavy?
小女子：Do you think so? Don't you want to carry me?)
八戒：Yes, I do. I do.
继续艰难地走。小女子得意地在背上笑。八戒体力不支，一跤摔倒，小女子倒地之后，
灵活地越上台上的假山，先做出猴子笑看八戒的样子，再做出摔疼了的样子在那里呻吟。
八戒听到女子的呻吟，忙东张西望找小媳妇。
八戒：Darling, are you OK? Darling,
where are you? Why can't I see you?
小女子（偷偷地笑，再装作痛苦的样子）：Honey, I
am here.
八戒：Darling. Why did you go up
there?
小女子：That's your fault.
八戒：Sorry, darling. I’m very sorry.
小女子：You look so tired, and I
feel sore. Let’s have a rest.
八戒： Have a
rest? That’s a good idea. Let’s have a rest.
八戒听了高兴地坐在下面休息，小女子仔细地打量他。
小女子（撒娇地）：Honey,
how can I marry you? I don’t even know where you come from. You must tell me the
truth first.
八戒：Alas! Don’t mention it. I was
Tianpeng marshal, I could fly between heaven and the
world. Only because I made a big mistake, I was punished by Yudi. So I became a
pig.
That’s why I am so ugly.
小女子： You look too
ugly to meet people.
八戒：I didn’t want to come here.
Nanhai Guanyin asked me to wait for Tangseng. I've been waiting
for a long time, but nobody has come. It’s lucky to meet you here.
小女子（把手甩开）：You
said that you were an immortal in the heaven . Why can’t you carry me?
It’s
impossible!
八戒：I am really the immortal. Why
don’t you believe me?
小女子： Show me some
gongfu then.
八戒：OK, let me show you my
gongfu.
拉起袖子，从石头后拿出钉钯，舞了起来。小女子暗暗点头。当八戒的钉色舞到小女子面前时，被小女子一把
抓住，往石山后面一拖，八戒被拖了过去。
八戒：Darling. Why are you so strong?
小女子：Pull me out if you can .
八戒做出用力拖的样子，没有发现拖出来的却是悟空。悟空一松手，八戒摔倒在地。
八戒: How
could you let me fall down? Don’t kid any longer.
悟空大笑：You Silly! Look at me. Who am I?
八戒一看，吓得跳起来: My god!
You are Monkey
king?!
八戒转身想跑，被悟空拦住，两人打了起来，八戒不是对手，被悟空压住，不能动弹。
悟空：You silly! Dare you harm others any more?
八戒： No, I dare
not!
悟空：Dare you wive yet?
八戒：No,no. Please forgive me, Monkey king.
悟空：I bet you dare not.
悟空放开，八戒转身想跑，被悟空一把抓住耳朵，疼得直叫。
悟空: You silly, where are you going?
八戒：I'll never make trouble any more. Why don't you let me go?
悟空：You silly, I'm taking you
to meet the sutra-seeker.
八戒：What? Has Tangseng come?
悟空：Yea(不耐烦). Let's
go!
两人在台上走半圈，来到房前。
悟空：Master, please come out! The
spirit has been defeated!
唐僧等人走了出来，老头一家还有些战战兢兢。
悟空：You silly, kneel down to meet your master.
八戒忙对着唐僧下跪，口喊师傅。唐僧非常吃惊。
Master,nice to meet you here.
唐僧: My prentice, what's up?
悟空： Master, he will accompany you to the west at
Guanyin's behest.
唐僧：Oh I see! Thank Guanyin!
Since then, I will take you as my prentice
and name you ……..（考虑中）
老头：Ugly!...Fatty!...Lecher!...Piggy!
唐僧：Bajie.
八戒：Thank you, my master! 么么哒！
老头: Arhhhh,
why not fool
唐僧：(八戒还依依不舍地看着小女子）Let's go
ahead, my prentices.
悟空: Bajie, there is nothing
to attach to. Let's go!
八戒恋恋不舍地走到前面带路。
